10.22.10
Posted in Alzheimer's Disease, Assisted Living, Assisted Living Facilities, Elderly Care, Elderly Diseases at 12:41 pm by admin
Recently, Maria Shriver, wife of California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and daughter of an Alzheimer’s patient, published a new edition of “The Shriver Report.” The Report focuses on how Alzheimer’s Disease is affecting Americans all over the country, and especially on how it affects women.
The primary discrepancy between men and women on this issue is not primarily about who suffers from the disease, but on who cares for those who are suffering. Women are the primary caregivers by a large number. Many of these women are caring for their parents while working full time and raising their family. It is no wonder, then, why 60 percent of them confess they are dealing with emotional stress, and half of those say it is a “level 5 out of 5″ kind of stress. If you’re doing the math, that means that one-third of these caregivers are experiencing extreme stress from their duties.
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How can we deal with this? It is not as if caregivers can just drop their other duties! They can’t stop raising their children or earning bread for them. And they certainly cannot just stop loving their parents. So what are they to do?
There is no easy solutions when you are dealing with Alzheimer’s. But there are options. Many families still have not heard of elderly care services that deal with memory loss. But Alzheimer’s care facilities are becoming more and more common all throughout the United States. Alzheimer’s caregivers can get professional help from caregivers, whether that means for an afternoon, or for the foreseeable future.
Memory Care, or Alzheimer’s care can take on many forms. Many adult day care facilities specialize in memory care patients. Their facilities are safely enclosed to prevent wandering off, and the staff focus strategically on building routines, and helping their patients stay comfortable. Other assisted living communities offer entire wings of their facility as Alzheimer’s wings. They often have outdoor enclosed gardens or parks, and their living quarters are secured and monitored twenty-four hours a day.
While many women caregivers might not be ready to give their loved ones over to a memory care assisted living center, some of them just need a break. Either way, they should absolutely not feel guilty for seeking assistance. If the stress overwhelms them, then things will get really bad. They will not be able to care for themselves, their children or their parents. Then what?
If you are looking for Alzheimer’s Care in Texas, enter your information in the box above. Click this link if you need Alzheimers or assisted living FL.
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10.20.10
Posted in Assisted Living, elderly and education at 8:27 pm by admin
It’s less than two weeks until the 2010 midterm election, and according to a recent article by David Paul Kahn on RealClearPolitics.com one “voting block” is more geared up than any other to make a difference this year. Yep, you guessed it. Senior citizens. Seniors are expected to vote in record numbers this year, and that is saying something, because seniors are typically far more politically engaged than the younger generation.
So why is so much of the advertising, so much of the hyper active hoopla geared toward college age students? Are seniors ignored in the voting process?
Seniors are radically engaged this year. According to the article, 84% of registered senior voters will cast a ballot. This is a staggering statistic. Senior voters are highly motivated, and very concerned about the direction that this country is moving in.
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One might wonder why they would be concerned. After all, the future belongs to the young. They will be running the country soon. Shouldn’t they be the ones who are highly motivated and energized?
Maybe. But these seniors are not cynical like the young. The fact that they remain involved proves that. They understand the shortcomings of the political system all too well. But they also believe that their voices matter. They believe in their responsibility to help shape the system. And they understand that their grandchildren’s future is hanging in the balance. The fact that they care as much as they do for things that will happen long after they are gone is encouraging. This is a group of people that really does care about what will happen to the nation after they are gone.
Seniors certainly do appear to be concerned about the direction our nation is taking. According to Kahn, fifty-three percent of voting seniors plan to vote Republican, while just thirty-five percent will vote Democrat. What that means in Texas is simple: the Red State will probably get redder. What that means in states with a high percentage of nursing homes and other Assisted Living, FL and NV for instance, remains to be seen.
The involvement that seniors take in the political process should inspire the rest of us to step it up and take our privilege seriously. After all, the voting decisions we make today will not only affect our children, they will affect our parents, too:)
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10.19.10
Posted in Assisted Living, Elder Care, Elderly Care, Senior Citizen at 5:44 pm by admin
Last year, we wrote about the advantages that seniors can have by getting a computer. The top reason, for many elders is this: they can see the grandkids. Believe me, I know this is true. My parents, who live two thousand miles away, immediately perk up when I pop up on Skype. They get so excited by the prospect of talking to my four kids. I get excited that they are excited. Technology is cool, isn’t it?
Well, I want to add something to that, because I know that buying a laptop is still overkill for many senior citizens. No matter how many frills you eliminate, it is still a complex computer at the end of the day. And it is a big leap for many. Too big a leap, even for the benefits of email and conferencing.
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An Easier Way to See the Grandchildren, “Face to Face”
In the past year, there has been a real breakthrough that we consumers have been waiting for for years: mobile video conferencing. The iPhone 4 got to it first, I think, delivering a way for two iPhone owners to see each other while they are talking. They use a program called “Face to Face.” Other companies have already followed suit. Soon, every smart phone will be including this option.
I don’t want to get too technical here. But I wanted to point out what a great opportunity this is for seniors who don’t want to get a computer. I think about it now because a good buddy of mine just convinced his mother to buy and iPhone 4 for this very reason. Yep, grandkids. She wanted to be able to talk to the grandkids. And now, because my friend has one, too, she can see the little preciouses with just a couple of finger swipes.
Now wait, you say. Mobile phones can be complicated for seniors, too! And yes, this is true. But they are becoming simpler and more intuitive with each passing month. The iPhone, especially, is easy to maneuver. The touch screen interface is bright, and the icons are easy to distinguish. It really does only take a few seconds to be up and running. If they are in an Assisted Living FL community or in a Texas elderly care community or in any other state, it will be even easier, since there are plenty of people there to help them get set up. It really is so much easier than a laptop!
And the fact is, seniors need some form of communication anyway. Senior cell phone use has skyrocketed in recent years, if only because people our age are worried about our parents. So if they have one already, or if you are ready to help them find one, consider getting them a phone that has video conferencing capabilities. Something like an iPhone 4.
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Posted in Assisted Living, Assisted Living Facilities, Elderly Care at 5:08 pm by admin
We wrote sometime last year about how difficult it can be for a person to tell their mom or dad that it is time to hang up the keys once and for all. And it’s true. This can be one of the most difficult conversations for seniors and the ones who care about them the most. But don’t make the mistake of thinking this is all about the psychological downer of hanging up the keys. Part of it is, to be sure. But there are very real practical considerations, as well. Name, there is this: seniors drive for the same reason we all drive: they need to get places. If they stop driving, just how do you think they will get from point A to point B.
Transportation: An Assisted Living Advantage
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The benefits of Assisted living facilities are numerous, which we talk about on this site all the time. But have you ever considered how the transportation issue gets resolved with Assisted living residents? It is an advantage that is easy to overlook. But if your loved one is in an Assisted living home, there will be two instant advantages in this regard:
1) They will not need to go out nearly as often. Why? Because they have everything they really need right there. Shopping for groceries will be reduced big time, since meals at the Assisted Living community happen three times a day. They just won’t need to go out for meat or milk much anymore!
2) They will be able to go out still, but they won’t have to drive. That’s because Assisted living facilities are very mindful of seniors’ need to get out of the four walls of their community. It is good for the psyche, and it is something very necessary on a practical level. So there are frequent trips to the shopping malls, to museums, to the movie theater… to anywhere people want to go. In addition, there will also be transportation available to go to the doctor, or other personal important trips.
Because they will not need to get out as much, and because they have a way to get where they do need to go, assisted living can all but eliminate the senior driving dilemma. Thankfully, they can hang up the keys without hanging up their independence.
To find an assisted living facility in your area, enter your zip code and type of care in the box above. Feel free to request a packet from as many facilities as you want!
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10.18.10
Posted in Assisted Living, Assisted Living Facilities, Depression, Elderly Care, Nursing home at 1:51 pm by admin
Living in a Nursing Home can be a difficult, lonely way to live. We all know this. It can be extremely depressing for many seniors who just a few short years earlier lived vibrant, healthy lives to be stuck inside the four walls of a drab, dreary environment without being able to get out and do the things they used to care about.
One of those lost priorities, for thousand of seniors, is church. For seniors who are deeply religious, it can be depressing to be forced to stay home on a Sunday morning. They want to be able to connect with other people. They miss their worship services. And they want to be able to connect with God the way they used to.
For years now, many churches have tried to help alleviate this problem. It does not always have a great affect, but it can.
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Currently, my church “adopts” two elderly care facilities–one nursing home and one assisted living facility–every three months or so. We rotate with other churches in our town. When it is our turn, we send a team of parishoners to the senior home to hold a special service just for those patients who would like to be able to come on Sunday morning.
Because of the obvious scheduling conflict, we go in the afternoon. We generally take somebody who can lead us in a few songs of worship, and somebody to give a short sermon. Often, it is the head pastor, but sometimes it is somebody else: an elder, or someone who feels like they have a special message for them. The service is never long. Maybe a half hour at the most. And after it is done, we spend time talking with the patients. This is the most rewarding part of the afternoon by far.
I remember leading a service when I was in my early 20′s. I was not an ordained minister. Just a kid who loved to worship. I was filling in for my father in law who was an ordained minister. He loved these precious people, and they loved him. For him, these services were not in any way a burden. He recognized what I did not at the time: that these were devout souls, many of whom were still as sharp as a tack, and who wanted to worship just as much as I did. So even though I felt like my afternoon was lost in the beginning, I came to see how valuable it was to them. And it became valuable to me.
Today, my daughters–ages seven and eight–love those sunday afternoon services. That is partly because they love to worship, but it is also because they see just how much the seniors in these homes appreciate their special attention. They have learned to treasure and value their stories. They learned their names, and prayed for them. And they spent time with them.
Churches who get involved in nursing home services often feel like they are pulling teeth to get people to come. As a result, the patients who sit in those afternoon services fee like second class parishoners. But with a little attitude change, the people in these churches can become a powerful witness of God’s love to people who are often sad and feeling forgotten. It happens everywhere. To seniors in the middle of nowhere to those in the middle of lots of activity, like in an Orlando FL assisted living facility. They want to be a part of society. They want to be a part of a family. If a church can think of them as family and not a burden, they can be an incredible blessing.
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10.15.10
Posted in Assisted Living, Assisted Living Facilities, Atria Senior Living, Elder Care, Retirement, Senior Citizen at 12:47 pm by admin
Today, Assisted Living communities are immensely popular, and there are thousands of them all around the United States. By now, you probably know what they are all about, especially if you read articles on this site often. In a nutshell: Assisted Living facilities are designed for senior adults who do not need full time care, but could really use a helping hand with some important daily activities. This can include housework, medicine, transportation, and bathing, among other things. These facilities are not nursing homes, but they are not quite retirement centers either. They can be a wonderful sort of middle of the road senior care option. But for many seniors, this option can still be something close to terrifying. Moving into an Assisted Living facility requires them to leave home, pack up their belongings, and never come back. It is a big risk, on a personal level: relationally and financially. There is a lot riding on the decision.
Temporary Assisted Living: A Low Risk Option
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But seniors do not need to hedge all their bets on this decision. Today, there are many places that let seniors “test drive” a facility before committing to it long term. They can move in for a couple of days to a month. If they hate it, there is no harm, no foul. There is no obligation.
But it usually will not take a month to decide if the facility is a good fit for them. Many will know in their gut very early on whether the emenities are to their liking. They will get a feel for the clientelle. They will understand if these are people they could be friends with. They will understand whether the level of medical care is appropriate to their unique situation. And, most importantly, they will know if this is a place they can spend the rest of their life.
This low risk option has become common for many facilities today. If you are facing the possiblity of a move to an Assisted Living facility, ask them if they would allow you to stay temporarily before you agree to stay long term. Most facilities will be accomodating.
Here is an interesting option. Some Facilities even open up their doors to seniors who are travelling, like a senior hotel. So, if you live in Florida, and your mom lives in Utah, she could stay in an assisted living FL facility. Or maybe they are coming from Texas, and you live in the Pacific Northwest. They could stay in an Oregon Assisted Living home. It’s a comfy environment anyway. If she enjoys staying the weekend there, who knows? Maybe she could live there down the road!
One facility that is well known for doing this is Atria Assisted Living Communities, but there are others. These communities understand that if they make a good impression on the traveler, there is a good chance that they might end up paying good money to live there some day. So if nothing else, you can count on the vacation being a very comfortable one.
No matter how it works out, just know that this option is a tremendous opportunity for a senior adult who is almost ready to take the plunge. If that is you, your mother or father, you might seriously consider the temporary assisted living option before you sign on. After all, you wouldn’t buy a car before taking a test drive, would you?
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10.14.10
Posted in Assisted Living, Elder Care, Elderly Care, Nursing home at 12:07 pm by admin
When it’s time for elder care, you all know. You and your siblings. You have been worried about your mom for a while. When you get on the phone, you lower your voice a little and talk about your concern. Maybe you have seen her stumble and fall more often. You have noticed that she is starting to forget things. And you cannot be sure that she is taking the medicine that the doctor prescribed. She says she is, but her condition is not improving, and she didn’t want to take them in the first place. You would love to take her in, but your house is too small. And your siblings cannot do it either.
Clearly, it is time for a family meeting.
How to talk about elder care as a family
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Broaching the subject of elder care is not easy for you, the family, or for the senior whose life is about to be altered. For them, the decision can feel like a rejection, and a vote of no confidence. So how can you navigate this tricky situation?
Years ago, we had to confront my wife’s parents on some very difficult issues that were giving us great cause for concern. For us, it was not yet time for full time elder care, but it was getting close, and their lifestyle (endless clutter, unsafe living conditions, etc) was seriously getting in the way of them being healthy and happy. It was not easy, but it was a conversation that absolutely had to happen. Here is what we did.
1.) We got together for a meal. Now, you might be thinking “No! I don’t want to trick them into anything.” I understand. And you do not have to. It is probably a good idea to tell them you want to discuss some things together as a family before hand, so they know there is another reason for you to get together. But a meal can help to foster the sense of normalcy that is so essential. Even if the situation is about to change, make it clear that your relationship will not have to. And of course, it doesn’t have to be a meal. Maybe your family does other things together on a regular basis. That is fine. Just try to make it natural. That is the key.
2.) When it was time to talk, we communicated love! Think back to the times when your parents had to confront and discipline you. The times when they did it right, anyway. Those were times when you might have hated them in the moment, but when you look back on it as an adult, you understand why they did it. You understand they loved you. Well, this is a time to do the same thing. Yes, you need to say some difficult, unpleasant things. You have serious concerns that she is not seeing. She will probably disagree. In her mind, everything will be just fine. But you are the objective one this time. So above all else, she needs to feel your love and care for her. There were times when they did that well with you, and other times… not so well. So make this like one of those good times. Love them.
3.) Be direct. Family cultures can be very different. I grew up in a family where we would just come out and say what we thought. My wife’s family has alway been more subtle, so that I could walk away from a conversation without ever understanding what just happened. And yet, on the night we confronted her parents, everyone had to come out and say it. “We love you, and we are concerned…” “This is not healthy…” “You really need to make some big changes.” Of course, do it in love. But do not mistake love for being soft, and not addressing issues you believe are very serious. That is, in reality, something less than love, and it is rooted in fear.
Because we took our time around a meal, communicated in love, and were direct, our message was well received. And yours can be, too, if you take those things to heart. The elder care choice–whether it is a Texas nursing home or an Oregon assisted living facility, ultimately, can be a very positive change once it is made. So make it easier for them in a family meeting.
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10.11.10
Posted in Assisted Living, Elder Care, elderly and education, Elderly Care, Texas Elderly Care Services at 2:05 pm by admin
When a person settles on the fact that his mom needs to move into an assisted living facility, they might well follow this pattern: First, they feel guilty that they cannot take care of her. Then, they feel nervous for such a big change, before they settle down, knowing deep down in their hearts that this is really the right thing to do.
And finally, when they find an assisted living facility they like, they see the price tag… and they flip out.
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To answer this question, you need to realize a couple of things. There are many different lifestyles that seniors enjoy, just like any demographic. One of the groups that is most catered to in the elder care world is the affluent senior community: those who alot of money to spend on their retirement. You have seen the brochures, right? These Assisted Living communities settled into golf resort communities or wineries. They have full fitness centers, huge indoor swimming pools, country clubs, and three acre lots that are tended to by landscaping staff.
If you do not have a treasure chest saved up for your retirement, you should not get your hopes up. These facilities are very expensive.
But there are facilities for the rest of us, too. Many assisted living communities are very nice, and cater to regular senior citizens who have worked hard, saved, and are ready to enjoy their years in a nice place, even if it isn’t luxurious. These often cost between twenty five hundred and three thousand dollars per month.
“How can that be?!” you ask? How can they charge so much for living quarters? The truth is, they don’t they charge that much for a new kind of lifestyle. We are not talking about an apartment for rent here. Yes, that price would be way over the top for an independent apartment lifestyle, but Assisted Living Communities provide much more. Here is a sampling of what your parent could get in a Texas Assisted Living Facility:
A nice place to live
Three hot meals a day
Utilities
Housekeeping help
Regular Medical Visits and Checkups
Trash Service
Twenty-four seven Security
A Healthy amount of social entertainment
Now, consider the kinds of things that are eliminated if you move your parent to a Texas Assisted LIving facility.
Property Taxes
Grocery shopping (hello!)
Lawn maintenance
Doctors visits
Home insurance
And the list goes on and on. An assisted living community represents an entirely new way of life. The community takes care of all the things your mom would normally have to think about. But now she will not have to. All those expenses add up, and the cost evens out surprisingly well when you eliminate them. Assisted Living communities become central to the patient’s entire way of life. She will no longer have to write out a dozen checks to various utility and insurance companies, to landscapers, to the cable company, etc. Instead, she will have peace of mind, knowing that the check she does write is going to take care of all those other things. She will be able to relax and enjoy all the social outings and entertainment benefits that she used to have to pay a lot of money for. Only this time, she can be surrounded by peers as well. Not only will she not have to pay extra for them, but she will likely enjoy them a whole lot more as well.
Texas Assisted Living facilities, like those of every other state, can be affordable, and they can be extremely expensive. Just remember not to equate their sticker price with the cost of your mother’s rent or monthly mortgage payment, because that is not accurate. The elder care that she will receive is far more valuable than that one check. And if you are careful to eliminate other financial strains that she has in order to move her in, you might be surprised at how little Assisted Living costs after all!
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10.09.10
Posted in Assisted Living, care at home, Caregiver, dementia, Elder Care, Elderly Care, Home Health Care at 11:47 am by admin
We have written a lot of articles on this site about the many different forms that elderly care can take. In the past twenty years, the assisted living model has gained incredible momentum and popularity, partly because nursing homes did not fit every senior. It wasn’t a good fit.
Today, there is a new form of elder care that is gaining traction quickly all around the country for the same reason: the traditional assisted living model does not fit everybody. That model includes a large number of seniors living in a complex of some sort, and spending lots of time together. But what if your loved one is not one for crowds? What if he or she is shy? How can this possibly be a good fit? That is where residential senior homes come in to save the day.
What is Residential Care?
Residential care homes represent a new wave in elder care, ant they provide all that traditional assisted living provides in terms of care, but they give it in a family type setting. What could be more natural for a person who has spent his whole life in a residential home?
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How does it work? It is pretty simple, really. It starts when a person or a family decides to open up their home to seniors who need full time care. The caregivers often include a registered nurse, but not always. These caregivers can help the resident with whatever needs he or she has: nutrition, laundry, mobility, you name it.
Caregivers have to be licensed by the state, of course, in order to run a residential senior home. But it still pays for you to do your homework and get references if you want to put your loved one in this type of setting. Prices will nearly always be cheaper than a traditional assisted living environment, thankfully, because some of the more expensive amenities will not be there. There is no cafeteria or ball room… no community garden, and no knitting classes. All of those are things that appeal to many seniors, but they also completely turn off others.
If your loved one needs specialized care for Alzheimer’s or dementia, make sure you look into that, because some residential caregivers specialize in memory care. Just be prepared to pay a lot more money for this. Memory care requires a constant level of oversight that most seniors simply do not need. But the point is this: the kinds of care in residential living will depend on the caregiver. So if your loved one has some sort of unique medical needs, make sure you look around, and you can probably find someone who will be able to meet that need in this setting.
Does Medicare cover residential care? Sometimes. But some caregivers ask families to pay without medicare, at least for the first couple years of care.
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10.08.10
Posted in Adult Day Care, Assisted Living, care at home, Caregiver, Elder Care, Elderly Care, Home Health Care, Nursing home at 11:21 am by admin
In the last article, we talked about the feelings of guilt and fear that come with choosing a nursing home for our parents. It is a tough decision to put your loved one in a full time elder care facility, not just because of the things we think could happen (neglect, abuse, etc.), but because we can’t shake that feeling that we ought to be the ones caring for them. After all, they took care of us, didn’t they?
The problem is not a lack of love in most cases. The problem is that, while many of us really would like to care for our parents at home, we have full time jobs. We have kids that need to be shuttled to basketball practice. We are constantly on the go. And if your parents need supervision because of medical problems, you realize that you cannot offer that. Not full time anyway. Your parents might be retired, but you, on the other hand, are swamped.
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I want to present another option to you that you maybe have not thought about before, although we have written on it in the past: adult day care. Now, adult day care is a pretty new phenomenon in the elder care industry, but you can bet it will be growing in the coming years. Here’s how it works: Suppose your mother lives with you in your house. You can help her with her medications at night. You can cook for her, do her laundry, help her stay active. The grandkids can spend time with her and lift her spirits… And then you can go to bed. In the morning, as you are packing up the kids for school, packing your bag for the gym, and sorting out the grocery list, you can bring your mom with you.
After you drop the kids off, you can take your mom to her other caregivers: the adult day care center staff. These care centers are sometimes attached to full time nursing homes or assisted living facilities, but not always. They are often next to parks, or else they have open outdoor leisure spaces, and they will have nurses right there on staff, should you need them.
The staff of the adult day care will make sure your mom is cared for. They will feed her, hang out with her, let her spend time with other seniors who are in the same position as she is. And they will make sure she doesn’t wander off (an important fact for those dealing with Alzheimer’s especially.)
The benefits of adult day care are vast:
- It’s cheaper! Because your mom is not living there, she does not need a bedroom. Which means she does not need a bathroom. Which means she does not need to pay rent. She is living at your house, remember? And that is alot cheaper than paying out massive checks every month to a full time Nursing Home or Assisted Living facility.
- She still gets to be a part of your life
- The Grandkids can spend time with her
- You don’t have to worry about her being lonely
- Your life does not have to end
- You have other caregivers that you can compare notes with, including nurses
- Your mom can socialize with people her age every day
- She feels valued!
If you love your parent, and if you desire to care for her, but cannot do it full time, you should look into the prospect of adult day care. I have a feeling you will all be glad you did.
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